Eternity

                             1 step 2 step I don’t know where to go, I’m lost in this lonely road.

It’s the only place I have ever known, but its home to me and I walk alone.

My faded shadow is the only thing that walks beside me.

My shallow heart is the only thing that’s beating.

My aching soul flies somewhere I know I’ll never be.

And now my head is throbbing, when will I ever get the change to leave?

                                                         Hush Hush now it’s just the ghost    

 

                                                   whispering lies to me that I’m just dope.

Telling me that someday I’ll be broke.   

  But neither of you know me, I still have hope.

Hope that one day we will be

Forever and eternity just you and me.

Hoping that one day you will see

Empty and incomplete was where you left me.

Far away from you I shall go

Down the street across the road.

Where my happiness lies

Waiting for me outside.

Locked in the cage but still has dignity and pride.

                          It’s the only place I have ever known and its home to me but I’m not alone.

My faded shadow never followed me.

My heart leaps at the way things turned out to be.

My soul will ride free as a knight for forever and eternity.

How It Should Be

 

It’s nice that people see the best in me

I’ve gotten a lot of compliments lately and I don’t know which ones are real

I’ve loved myself and I guess that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

 

I hated my smile so I thought it would be best if I stayed with a frown.

Now look at me, I can’t seem to calm down.

I’ve been gone for a while living with a regret.

I’m back now because it’s time for me to forget.

 

Comments these days is all that matters to me

Like when my teacher gives me back a paper I can’t wait to see

Especially if I worked really hard on it, I guess that’s the way it should be.

 

I do what I love far off the ground

On the horses back until sun down

A smile on my face, running this town.

 

I’m loving myself and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

 

A life full laughter and endless smiles not caring what comes next.

And I know most of us are hoping for the best.

Look around you, you all are so blessed

But all of you chose to live life depressed

Wondering about what’s coming next

Stop analyzing put your soul at rest.

 

Because that’s how it’s supposed to be.

 

When people see the best in you

Smiling because secretly you know it’s true.

Be proud because no one can be you.

 

And that’s how it should be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beauty & Brains

     Feeling different and special is a wish, beauty and brains is a value.

      My definition of beauty is simplicity; you don’t need anything to make you feel beautiful you just need yourself, if you stay true to your value that’s enough to make you feel like paradise.

      Most people think femininity is about what you wear and how you look but their wrong, it’s an attitude. Beauty is imperfection, madness is genius and it’s better to keep it real than to act all fake for the sake of pleasing others.

     These days opinions matter for some reason, if everyone loves something you should, if they don’t you shouldn’t and if you don’t obey they judge you. You don’t have to do what everyone else does if you don’t want to. You have an opinion they have theirs, there is no right or wrong, but it’s your choice if you’re willing to speak your mind.

People will always look at you and judge you, the question is can you handle it?

     In the end of the day it’s just words, I don’t give a damn what people think and I really don’t care about what they say, the only thing that matters is that the closest people to me know the truth. It’s not fair to have a lie out there, even if it costs giving yourself up because it will always be worth it. The rumors, the gossip it’s not real, it’s just noise.

     I find myself in a world full of hurt souls, sometimes I look at myself and I’m like EW but that’s just me, I want to know what you think, I want to know what you see in me that I have no clue about. I’m hard on myself because I know I look better than what you see in that ugly picture and I blame myself for it.

Everyone has insecure days 

Everyone has flawless days

     I mentioned this before and I will mention it again, everyone shares the same experiences but in many different situations and that’s the beauty of it. If no one was there for you be there for someone else, because it’s better to give than to get. That sounded better in my head.

Your opinion

Your choice                                                                                   

Your life

 

 

Everyone Leaves

In the end everyone leaves, they never come back and that affects me. Some people are gone for good and the rest just walked out of my life.

Let go of everything when you fall because how else can you start over, it might change you forever or might make you wiser and that decision depends on who you really are.

Every day you fight for survival, it could be against yourself or against the world. I dare you to win, hold on to whatever makes you happy and use it as a defense.
Don’t allow yourself to be surrounded by negativity, arm your friends, destroy your enemies and whatever the cost, win.

The pain in your heart is life, and life can be beautiful with all its scars and flaws. If you enjoy wasting time then it’s not wasted, if you love doing something do it, if you want to say something then feel free to speak your mind.

Admit your mistakes right now to anyone, be completely honest. Will they judge you? Will they admit there mistakes? Only then will you know your true friends.

“In the end everyone leaves.” What if it’s not the end, what if it’s the beginning of a new life.
Do you like being alone? I do. But I hate feeling lonely and depressed. Before making decisions think through it and know the consequences.

You call it chaos I call it life, appreciate the little things because without it you won’t be complete. It’s not just me who’s keeping myself here, its everyone else, because in the end we all share the experience of life. We risk everything, every day with every breathe and I’m not ready to leave.

A reputation is hard to get rid of that’s why it’s important to build a strong one now so when everything changes you leave a mark.
Honestly the only thing that matters is your actions, would you stay in that slump and let people boss you around or would you get up and act like you’re happy. The smile that you fake every day is going to turn real if you get up and do something about it.

I was surprised when I lost people who were friends of mine. Why? Everyone has reasons but if they don’t then YOU walk away.

Forget them when they leave, ignore them when they come back.

Fuck Fake Friends.

Were Your Real Friends At?

My Little Lady

There’s something about her everyone loves, she makes time for the people who care, she ignores the two faced judgmental bitches. It could be her smile, her eyes, and her flawless looks or maybe it’s just her.

There’s something about her but no one can figure it out.

She has her own thing, she doesn’t agree with everything, she doesn’t love what everyone else loves, she does what’s on her mind and that’s what people admire.

She held her head high even in her bad days. She’s right now because she was wrong before, she is strong now because she knows what it’s like to be weak, she was broken before and that’s why she has trouble trusting people.

She doesn’t pretend anymore because impressing people doesn’t make a difference, no matter what you do everyone will always judge you.

Miss independent. She has confident in herself and that’s what makes her beautiful. She doesn’t have a man but she’s not alone.

Girls are everywhere, the fake ones, the two faced backstabbers and the followers, it’s hard to find a lady who’s confident, a leader who makes the rules, a women who’s hard to push off the pedestal, rumors and dirty looks won’t bring her down because she’s been through so much and due to that nothing can phase her anymore.

It doesn’t matter what people say about you. Good or bad at least their talking about you.

When you’re insecure they say you crave more attention.

When you’re confident they say you’re full of yourself.

My point is people will always judge you, so just do what you want even if others won’t approve. It’s your life. It’s your actions. It’s your mistakes. You live and learn. Some people move on and some don’t.

It’s never going to be easy and it’s never going to be over but it’s going to be worth it. It’s your decisions and only you can make the choices, don’t let anyone take over your life. You’re the one living it not them.

Don’t be a follower be a leader. Don’t be afraid be confident. Don’t be alone be independent.

 

From the heart

You don’t know me, you may think you do but you really don’t. There’s a story behind my smile no one will ever understand.
My life is like a roller coaster, I can get low and start to say “nothing will get better”, I can get high and start to think that nothing can bring me down.

We live in a crazy foolish world full of fake people; everyone judges each other by how they look how they act and treat each other based on reputations. They tell you to be yourself but then they judge you.

My life isn’t perfect and I bet yours isn’t either, I screw things up and mess everything and in some cases I don’t know how to solve it. I made mistakes in my past like anyone would and some were unforgettable but don’t you dare judge me by my past because I don’t live there anymore.
It’s getting harder every day and I’m slowly losing it, I can’t keep acting like everything’s alright when in reality it’s not. I’ve been dealing with bullshit every day; I’ve been treated like crap and I’m sick of it. So don’t you ever think that you can just walk over me and get away with it. Today I’m speaking my mind.

I cry myself to sleep and end up waking up with a smile, weird isn’t it? My flaws are the reason behind my smile; I fall asleep insecure and wake up confident. I have problems and crazy issues and some are just too messed up but I’m not alone. Yah, school is hell something we all agree on, but why do we wake up every morning and go? To make a difference, you’re supposed to get passed it all, deal with it or take it all back.

I’m not afraid to walk this world alone, I’ve been too long on my own and I guess because of it I stopped expecting miracles to happen. It’s hard to be the one always waiting, the one always forgiving; The people closest to me said I was the strongest person they have ever met sometimes I believed and the other times I didn’t.
I remind myself every day that every sixty seconds I stay upset is a minute of happiness I’ll never get back, I had to cry out all my tears to make room for a heart full of smiles, whatever my past has been I’m going to have a spotless future.

I wouldn’t say I’m comfortable I’d say I’m used to all the trouble and frustration, when something happens I just get paralyzed, I don’t do or say anything. I wait for the moment to pass and I just deal with it.
I can make the same mistakes over and over again without realizing it I can do what I want and I’ll want to do it because most of you said I couldn’t. It took me a while to realize that everything happens for a reason, and the reasons might not be easy to trespass but it’s for your benefit “What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Right!

No one should go through anything alone so I wish to all you comfort in difficult days, smile when sadness strikes, have faith so you believe, courage to know yourself, hugs when loneliness intrudes, kisses when you don’t feel worthy, patience to accept the truth, beauty for your eyes to see, brains for the achievements, confidence for when in doubt, friendship to brighten your days, a bond that can never be broken and love to complete your life.

A Lot About Me You Don't Know.

     Is it working? Is my smile fooling you all? Because I could never feel more hurt, one small problem and I just break down, every sadness ever feeling ever tear I kept locked inside of me just erupted. Until you’ve lived my life, until you’ve walked my path and been in my shoes and felt my feelings don’t even try to judge me, you don’t know what the fuck I’ve been through.

     I held up my reputation as the strong one who’s crazy and hyper most of the time, but no one knows how sensitive I am if you looked me in the eyes you’d see my sorrow. I hide behind a tear of a clown because I don’t want people to take me for granted, no one wants to be known as “ the sad girl “, I know I don’t; when  your weak they pity you, when your strong they don’t ask about your feelings.

     I’m not cocky I’m independent, I’m not rude I’m honest, I’m not fearless I’m brave, I don’t give up because I’m a survivor, call me short but I’m higher than your standards. I’m stuck in my own ways and I don’t take crap from anyone. I don’t listen I do, I’m not a follower I’m a leader. Stay on my good side and I promise you won’t be able to live without me.

     I have a loving heart, a thoughtful brain and a free soul. I’ve been told that I was unique and unforgettable and that was hard to believe, I’m not here to please anyone so feel free to judge me, I’m the kind of person who gives amazing advices but is a mess inside. This is me, I won’t kill myself to impress anyone you either love me or hate me it’s as simple as that. I keep it real while the rest stay plastic, I am who I am you either stay in my life or you walk out.